Preface ... Brain Storm: The Story of A Stroke and Recovery.

Did you ever look outside on a summer evening and watched the awesome display of nature as bolts of lightning arced but crossed the evening sky, incandescently illuminating the surroundings before plunging back into darkness? The display is both terrifying as well as beautiful, inspiring both fear and wonder simultaneously. One wonders how such a tremendous display of nature's power can also wreak such lethal havoc.
It makes you wonder. Is lightening good or bad? Lightning kills people. Lightning burns forests to the ground. However, for every tree in burns to a cinder, it allows the seeds of that tree to reach for the light of the sun, thrive and grow as new life. Lightning is destruction as well as renewal. Good? Bad? Are those concepts relative to the observer?

I was 53. I had a crippling, paralyzing stroke that left me three months in the hospital and years in recovery. In fact, I am recovering still. Quite frankly, it was personally devastating, or so it seemed at the time. However, I have been an analyst for many years. The experience of the stroke and the life changes that ensued, in retrospect, are fascinating.

I read motivational books about the personal epiphanies that stroke victims experience. I have read books about the science and medicine of strokes. However, the stories of personal revelation and the stories of the science and medicine of strokes were never in the same book. It is as if the two were unrelated. But they are not. When looking at the stories of stroke victims, the emotions, thoughts, feelings and mental actions as of stroke victims had as much to do with the speed and success of recovery as the science and medicine. I wanted to write a book, tell a story, report the science in a holistic way since they were inextricably linked to successful recovery.

There are subtle changes in the way the world perceives a stroke victim, and, the way the stroke victim views the world. I really wanted to capture that subtle but interesting dynamic. I also realized that this interplay between the stroke victim and the world can have a profound effect on both the stroke victim’s recovery and the lives and perceptions of those he meets.

I didn’t realize this, but strokes don’t just happen to the elderly. A stroke can happen to anyone. Anybody can have a stroke, any time. However, as devastating as they are, it is possible to view the stroke is a rebirth, a renewal, a way to change directions in your life. Mine was. I didn't know the signs and warnings. This could have been avoided. If only I had known what to look for! I think you should know.

This may sound rather strange, but at this point, I'm not really sure that my stroke was a totally negative experience! In fact, the stroke may have been a blessing in disguise. I would certainly never wish a stroke upon anyone else. However, my pre-stroke life, in retrospect, certainly left much to be desired. There have actually been many positive life changes that have resulted from my two year incapacitation. There is both my positive experience, and, some positive lessons.

I have divided this book into five types of information, in an attempt to achieve something that none of the other books on the subject seem to have accomplished. The existing literature appears to be either a scientific account or a personal story. In this account, I have defined five types of messages are trying:

1. Medical Fact. There is a great deal of information available on strokes and TIAs, or transient ischemic accidents. my objective here is to interlace this clinical information in lay terms, and exemplify the clinical information through personal experience.

2. Personal Account. I want to tell my story. From my understanding, it is not necessarily typical. However, I believe, or at least hope, that you’ll find it interesting and engaging. It also helps to exemplify the clinical facts.

3. Personal Observations. After having experienced a stroke, and talking to many many also have, as well as their family and friends, I think it’s fair to say that I can draw some solution both about the stroke experience and about the way we live our lives -- based on pre-stroke and post-strokeas experiences.

4. Other People’s Perceptions. I have learned much about what other people think of strokes and stroke victims which I will describe here.

5. Conclusions or Questions. No doubt, experiencing a stroke has created certain conditions and left me with certain observations and conclusions which I will share with you. But as often as not, many questions are raised for which I still have no answers and I am still searching for enlightenment.